Cánh Bướm Vườn Xuân

An exhausted-looking man dragged himself in to the doctor’s office.

“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood.  They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep!”

“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.  “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream.  A few of these and your trouble will be over.”

“Anything, doctor.  I’ll give it a shot.”

A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever.

“Doc, your plan is no good.  I’m more tired than before!”

“I don’t understand how that could be, said the doctor, shaking his head.  “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”

“That may be true,” the man answered wearily, “but I’m up all night chasing those dogs, and when I finally catch one it’s hell getting him to swallow the pill!”

The doctor told me to get rid of my cold I should drink lemon juice after a hot bat.  But I could never finish drinking the hot bath.

Bob Uecker

After three days in a coma the man finally regained consciousness.  He opened his eyes to find the doctor taking his pulse.

“You were at death’s door, Mr. Winters,” said the doctor gravely.  “It’s only your strong constitution that has pulled you through.”

“I just hope you remember that, Doctor, when you send me your bill.”

An expectant mother asked her doctor, “Will my husband be allowed to stay in the delivery room during the birth?”

“Oh yes, of course.  I think it is very important that the father be present.”

The woman gasped.  “Oh no!  I don’t think we should let the father in.  He and my husband don’t get along too well!”

An 85 –year-old man, recently married to a woman in her twenties, went to the doctor for a physical.  As the doctor was finishing the series of examinations, the man announced proudly, “Did you hear that my wife is pregnant?”

The doctor didn’t say anything, and the man repeated his question.

“I’m reminded of the story of the absentminded hunter,”  the doctor answered.  “He was going out to hunt for bear and instead of his gun, he absentmindedly picked up an umbrella.  When h spotted a bear, the animal charged towards him.  The hunter pointed the umbrella at the bear, shot, and killed him.”

The patient thought for a moment.  “That’s impossible.  There must have been another hunter on the other side.”

“Exactly.”