Bruce Diaso
Bruce had been a great high school football player in his hometown of Fresno, California, and was planning to attend Notre Dame University on an athletic scholarship. But tragedy hit him at the beginning of his senior year. He was stricken with polio a few weeks before the Salk Polio Vaccine arrived at his school. He almost died, was in the hospital for several weeks, and ended up paralyzed. He could not move his legs or his arms. He could talk, he could move his head, and he could move his hands and fingers, even though his arms were dead.
Through sheer determination and hard work, he earned an academic scholarship to USF. His caretakers were his roommate and a few other guys who lived in dorm rooms nearby. Without being able to move his arms or legs, you can imagine how much they had to do for him. I always admired them because they care for Bruce so unselfishly and so lovingly.
Bruce was, without question, the most admired and loved student at the university in the four years he was there. Why, because people felt sorry for him? Absolutely not. It was because he was always a delight to be around. He had a big smile and a good word for everyone. He was also brilliant and an unbelievably dedicated student. He wanted to learn everything.
One day I had occasion to eat lunch with Bruce. It was rare because he usually had a crowd of people around him. But we both went for an early lunch that day and found ourselves in an almost empty dining commons. I had always wondered about his amazing attitude, and decided that this would be a good time to learn more about it. I knew almost nothing about psychology at the time, so I asked Bruce if he had been born with his incredible attitude. He laughed, and said, "No, Hal, I promise you I wasn't born with this attitude. I learned to develop it. I learned that it's a choice, and that anyone can have the same attitude I have."
Because I wanted to have an attitude like his, I said, "Bruce, please tell me your secret." He laughed again, and said there was no secret. He said when he got polio and learned that he would never walk or lift his arms again, he sunk into a deeply negative funk. He said the two words that best described his attitude were: anger and self-pity. His doctor challenged him one day b y asking if the anger and self-pity were making things better or making things worse. He said, "Bruce, change your attitude, change your life." Bruce realized immediately what the doctor was trying to tell him: he was poisoning himself. And he realized it was his choice to do so.
Bruce thought about it for a few days, and eventually chose two new words that would define his attitude: thankfulness and opportunity. He said he was thankful for all the things he used to take for granted. Among them were God (he believed there was reason for everything), his parent, siblings, friends, teachers, his country, intelligence, his education, and all the opportunities he saw in his life despite his handicap. I suddenly realized that I had all the same things in my life (without the handicap), and had always taken them for granted.
My conversation with Bruce that day turned out to be what I referred to earlier as a "defining moment." It changed my attitude, and it changed my life. The most important thing Bruce taught me was that attitude-he called it the "control center" of our lives- was a choice. He said, "Whether you're in perfect health or have a handicap like mine, you can choose your attitude any minute of the day." He finished his lesson with a question that I've never forgotten: "Do you realize that being able to choose your own attitude is the greatest power and the greatest freedom that you'll ever have?"
Bruce graduated from the University of San Francisco summa cum laude ( Latin for "with highest honor."). He accepted a scholarship to the law school, where his success story continued. Three years later he again graduated with the highest honors. He turned down several high-paying salaries from prestigious law firms all over the country. Instead, he accepted a position as a Public Defender in his home town of Fresno. He devoted the rest of his life to helping people who were poor and in trouble. He also did free legal work for charitable organizations, and was given awards for his public service while he was still in his 20s.
Sadly, Bruce died when he was only 31. His paralyzed and weak body eventually gave out. A dear friend of mine who was one of Bruce's caretakers for six years told me shortly after the funeral that he learned more about life from Bruce than anyone he'd ever known. He also told me something that I still find astounding more than 40 years later. He said in the six years he lived with Bruce he saw him in great pain and in poor health, but he kept on and always gave his best. And never once did he hear Bruce complain about anything.
I told Bruce's story to my students every year since he died in 1972. It made an impact on most of them, and it was a valuable lesson about the power and freedom we have to choose our attitudes no matter what the circumstances. I also gave them an assignment. It was called "The Bruce Diaso Memorial Challenge." I challenged them to go one day (24 hours) without complaining about anything. They tried, but failed. It literally took me 23 years before I found a student who could do it. Her name is Grace. She said, "I just thought of something I should be thankful for every time I started to complain. You know, Dr. Urban, we have a lot more to be thankful for than we do to complain about." It would have made Bruce happy. He touched many people during his short life, and he's still touching them today. If you want to have a good life, start here: remind yourself that your attitude is your "control center," and that it's always a choice.
Hal Urban.
Words:
polio: a disease of the spinal cord often causing paralysis.
bệnh bại liệt
sheer: adj: absolute (hoàn toàn), very steep (thẳng đứng, dốc),
vertically : thẳng đứng : The land rises sheer out of the sea.
v: not to do (something) because one is afraid
sợ hãi; hoảng sợ: She funked the appointment.
Comments
Post a Comment