Forgiveness is an Important Part of Love

 





 

  Please turn back to Chapter 4 and take another look at the examples of pain and suffering compiled by my students.  After completing it, I asked them to divide it into two main types of pain.  Most of them got it right away: physical and mental (also called social or emotional pain).  Is one worse than the other?  There wasn't complete agreement on this, but most felt it was emotional pain.  Research supports this belief.  Dr. Kip Williams, a psychologist from Purdue University, after completing four research projects with several colleagues, says that, "While both types of pain can hurt very much at the time they occur, social pain has the unique ability to come back over and over again, whereas physical pain lingers only as an awareness that it was indeed at one time painful."

Dr. Williams and his colleagues are not alone in that feeling.  A few years ago I was watching a TV program about psychological healing that had several family therapists on it.  One of them was Phil McGraw, the famous "Dr. Phil" who had his own nightly therapy show on TV.  He was asked what the most difficult experience to recover from was.  Without hesitating, he answered, "Betrayal.  There's no greater pain, no greater anguish, than being betrayed by someone you love and trust."  His colleagues on the program were all in agreement.

Also mentioned were romantic break-ups, cruelty, the end of a friendship, divorce, and being used by another person.  In other words, the worst pain we'll ever feel is usually caused by people we were once very close to.  As one of the therapists on the panel said, "The people we love and trust the most have the power to hurt us the most."

Every therapist on the panel also agreed that these kinds of hurtful experiences present the greatest challenge we'll ever face.  The old expression that "Adversity makes us or breaks us" is true.  Being hurt by someone we love and trust is the supreme test of the strength of our character.  To  be a loving person in these circumstances, to take the high road, and to be forgiving, is indeed a great challenge.  But no matter how difficult it is, it's also the only way possible to bring about healing and the capacity to move on with life.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

Thomas Carlyle

Hal  Urban

 

compile:
to make (a book, table etc) from information collected from other books etc
biên soạn
He compiled a French dictionary.
 
 
anguish:
very great pain of body or mind; agony
nỗi đau đớn
She suffered terrible anguish when her daughter died.
 
 

 









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